Improving the world.....

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank

The hardest part of doing something new is starting. There will always be a lot you don’t know. There will always be fears to overcome. There will always be doubts about what you can do. Feel it all and get started anyway. Take one simple step.

Every day is a new opportunity to make a positive difference in the world, regardless of who you’ve been and what you’ve done before. Everyday is a rebirth, a new chance to make your day matter in a way that’s deeply personal and meaningful to you.

How can you start to improve the world today?

Happy Friday!

Life is a song ... sing it.
Life is a game ... play it.
Life is a challenge ... meet it.
Life is a dream ... realize it.
Life is a sacrifice ... offer it.
Life is love ... enjoy it.

- Sai Baba

A Sign of Imbalance

A Sign of Imbalance
Overachieving and Overreaching

In general, an overachieving lifestyle is not balanced. What changes can you make to slow down and feel more joy?

Overachievers are people who have achieved but still feel the need to do more, creating an imbalance in their lives. People who exhibit this behavior may be trying to compensate for feelings of insecurity and doubts about their worth. They may be chasing unresolved issues from their past into the present, or they might not be looking at their lives as a whole, but judging themselves based only on one aspect of their being. If this is a word that we've heard used with respect to our choices and lifestyle, it is worth examining in order to balance our lives for a more rewarding experience.

If we find that we cannot allow ourselves to experience and enjoy the present moment, putting pleasure off into some distant future, it may be a sign that we are being driven to achieve more than is truly necessary. Pushing ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion, or to the exclusion of important people in our lives, robs us of true and meaningful joy. Once we make the connection to the eternal part of us, it can nourish us and allow our priorities to shift from chasing after an elusive feeling to being fully present in the moment so that we can live our lives in the now. 

Sometimes we need to look to those we love and admire in order to realize what we value about life. We can take time to note what we like about others, and then turn the mirror to reflect the light of those same words and feelings toward ourselves. It can be quite a revelation to see ourselves in this nourishing light. When we can put the energy that we've been devoting to a phantom sense of achievement into the truly satisfying aspects of our lives, we can restore the balance between our inner and outer worlds and experience true joyful peace. 

Changing the Way We Relate

Changing The Way We Relate
Making Over Our Partners

A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact. 

By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer. 

If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one.

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Powerful Inspiration from the late Elizabeth Edwards.....

This is rumored to be one of Elizabeth Edwards last FB post before she passed, "The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. - Elizabeth Edwards (7/3/49 - 12/7/10)

On Un-locking Your Potential.......

“Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs.” -William Howard Stein

In 1957, Dr. Robert Merton introduced an idea known as the Galatea Effect, which suggests we tend to do what we expect we’ll do.

If you think you can run a marathon, you’re more likely to push yourself through training and eventually cross the finish line. If you expect that you’ll make friends easily, you’ll likely be relaxed enough to make people around you feel at ease.

It also works the other way around. If you believe you don’t have the leadership skills to run a meeting, your insecurity will undermine your authority. If you expect you’ll clam up around the person you’re attracted to, you’ll find yourself sweating whenever you meet eyes.

What if we woke up and expected not only the best of ourselves, but also the best in the unexpected? What if we expected that the things we can’t predict will somehow turn out for the best? What if we didn’t just believe in ourselves; we believed in our ability to adapt to the unknown?

We can never know exactly what’s coming, but we can know that no matter what happens, we can turn it into something good. We can know that no matter where our aspirations lead us, we can meet all our needs through our interpretations, attitude, and actions.

If you’re a little stressed or overwhelmed by where you’re headed, remember: you can decide today that no matter what tomorrow brings, you will find some joy in it.

Identifying Real Problems and Letting go of Imagined Ones....

by contributor Sam Russell

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

We all have problems, don’t we? There isn’t a single person on this planet who doesn’t have one even if they’re the Buddhist monk living their life peacefully. Everyone has something to overcome.

There’s nothing wrong with having a problem. Life would be pretty dull if they weren’t around and we’d never learn anything new or grow from our mistakes.

Sometimes though, we create problems that have no real foundations. These are the ones that can cause us the most suffering because it seems like they’re unsolvable.

I’m thinking a lot about problems at the moment because having one is integral to writing a good plot in a story. If my main character doesn’t have an obstacle, then what is she going to overcome? What will she achieve despite it? What’s going to make her act? Nothing. She’ll wander about aimlessly on the page and there won’t be any story.

However I can’t just throw any old problem at her because it has to be tangible, plausible, and something that can be realized and tackled. Having abstract problems in this novel will lead to the story being incoherent and useless.

But isn’t this the same type of thing we face in our own lives? Aren’t the problems that seem unsolvable, the ones that make life seem senseless, the problems that mean that our own stories lead nowhere?

When looking at the trials we face, I reckon we should start looking at what is more concrete rather than focusing on abstract ideas that we can’t readily approach and deal with.

Let’s work out an example: you’ve heard that your boss might circulate an email naming a date for a bunch of unknown people to be laid off due to economic circumstances. It’s hearsay, but it sounds plausible given the economy.

The abstract part of this problem is whether this email exists or not, either now or in the future. You could get easily get caught up worrying about–whether it will go out and whether or not you’ll be on it. But neither of those things are things you can control. Stress arises when we can’t let go of this notion–that we can’t control what is unknown to us.

The other abstract thing about this problem is that you don’t know who’s going to be let go, if any at all. It might not be you. If you are named, this could be a blessing in disguise: more time with family, a chance to try something new, to volunteer while you’re looking for work or an opportunity to turn your dream into a reality.

But this is all abstract! We don’t know if any of this is true since nothing concrete has happened yet. It’s all stress arising from a potential problem that hasn’t actually happened yet. It’s just plain not to possible to overcome a problem that doesn’t yet exist, and yet we spend a lot of time trying to do this very thing.

The concrete part of this problem is that yes, the economy is in a mess. People are losing their jobs. We’re all having to downsize our lives and be more frugal with the money that we have.

This is a real problem that we can tackle by cutting back on our expenses, creating a savings pot for when things do get tough, keeping an open mind about employment, creating less waste and, quite importantly, getting back in touch with our family, friends and environment. They’re real, and when abstract things like money and position have failed us, those real things are always going to be there.

I think more than half the problems we face are the abstract type. The way to deal with this, as I’ve found while plotting my novel, is to write these problems down and break them apart. Look at the things that are real and can be interacted with through our actions and choices. If they can’t be interacted with, then don’t sweat because they don’t matter.

Work on the things that you know you can act on and you’ll find that not only can you overcome them but that your “story” will moved forward.